


Sentimentality

by Kitaa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Osamu is a little shit, Pining, Post-Time Skip, atsumu has feelings, bad language, but he doesn't understand them, except maybe bokuto, miya-related comic violence, nobody here is good with feelings, one bad sex joke, you know it's true he's just nice when people are watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24430675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitaa/pseuds/Kitaa
Summary: Atsumu doesn't think much about the past, with one exception.  And that exception is the heartache called Kita Shinsuke.  Hijinks ensue.  Confessions and kisses may happen, eventually.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 62
Kudos: 307





	Sentimentality

**Author's Note:**

> I learned a lot about traditional Japanese rice farms writing this fic. I don't think anything I learned made it in.

Miya Atsumu did not consider himself a sentimental man. The past was gone, nothing more than a stepping stone to the present. High school had been fun, and sure, he'd made some good friends and had some good times. But life right now was even _better_ : he had a spot on a professional team, and was considered one of Japan's best setters. It didn't get much better than that--well, at least not until he finally claimed the number one spot all for himself.

But there _was_ one thing from his past that he just couldn't seem to let go of.

He was sitting at a table in Onigiri Miya, mouth was full of rice, when Osamu announced out of the blue, "Hey, Tsumu, didja hear about Kita-san?"

Kita Shinsuke had been team captain during Atsumu and Osamu's second year, and as far as Atsumu was concerned, he was basically perfect. Calm, thoughtful, kind. Awfully cute, too.

Atsumu snapped his head up. "What happened? Is he okay?"

"Hey, I ain't lettin' ya in here after hours anymore if yer gonna talk with yer mouth full," Osamu scolded, swatting at him with a wet rag. "Yer spittin' rice all over my clean counters."

Whatever. It wasn't like anyone else was going to come into the restaurant until the next morning anyway. "Ya gonna lecture me, or are ya gonna tell me what's goin' on? Is somethin' wrong?"

"If lecturin' worked on ya, you'd be a model citizen by now," Osamu snorted. "Anyway, nah, he's fine. Guess he finally took over that ol' farm."

"That so?" That didn't come as much of a surprise; Kita had helped out on his family's land off and on for as long as Atsumu had known him. Still, it was a little sad to hear. If he was going to be in charge of the farm, that would give him even fewer chances to visit.

It had been a while since Atsumu had seen Kita; he'd visited for the grand opening of Osamu's restaurant, and every so often, he made it to a Jackals game. Back in Atsumu's third year, he'd kept in contact under the pretext of asking for captainship advice (which Osamu had teased him endlessly for; "Y'aint gonna be a captain like Kita-san anyway, so what's the point?"). But now he was busy with his team, with practice and sponsorships and life.

And yet, every time he saw Kita, no matter how long it had been since the last time, it was hell on Atsumu's heart. He'd be up in the stands during a game, and he'd smile down at Atsumu proudly, radiant and peaceful as ever, like some kind of... Atsumu didn't know. Some kind of really serene and beautiful statue or something? Whatever, it wasn't important.

What was important was the fact that it was the most distracting thing in the _world_.

The first time it happened, he'd just made a tricky set, and he'd looked up and there Kita was, _beaming_ , and Atsumu had, to his complete mortification, botched his footwork and landed right on his ass.

If anyone had asked him why he reacted so strongly, he'd tell them honestly: he respected Kita, admired him. Wanted to be someone he could be proud of, like he'd promised all those years ago. There wasn't anything else to it.

And he wouldn't be lying.

Atsumu's feelings were a mystery, even to himself.

"Yeah. An' his gran's movin' in with some family in Osaka. So it's just gonna be him up there."

Atsumu chewed thoughtfully. "Bet he's gonna be lonely."

"Right? I mean, I got Rin to keep me company, an' you got that disaster of a dorm. But Kita-san doesn't even have a _pet_."

"First of all, the dorm's _great_." It was, too. Far better sharing a room with Osamu; in the Jackals' dormitory, Atsumu got his _own_ room, plus the added benefit of company whenever he wanted it.

"Ya told me that last week that one of the guys put dish soap in the washin' machine."

"Yeah." Bokuto did stuff like that all the _time_ ; it was funny, at least as long as he wasn't the one stuck cleaning up afterwards.

"Like I said, a disaster."

Atsumu's concern over Kita's living situation took a temporary back seat to his instinctive need to never let his brother have the last word. "Better than bein' stuck with you and Suna."

"As if you _ever_ had the option of stayin' at our place."

"Yer worried he'd fall for me instead, ain't ya?"

Osamu stared at him for a moment, then burst out into laughter. "You dipshit, I ain't worried about _that_. Rin's got _standards_."

"Can't be very high ones if he's datin' you."

"I'm objectively a better person than you, and ya know it."

"The only thing you're better at is suckin'."

A nasty grin spread across Osamu's face and Atsumu realized he'd made a critical error. "Not like _that_! Keep yer filthy mouth shut! I don't wanna hear it!"

But Osamu wasn't deterred so easily. "I dunno, Tsumu," he drawled, obviously enjoying every second, "Why don't I call up Rin an' he can tell you how good I am at--"

"I said _shuddup_!" Atsumu threw the first thing he could get his hands on at his brother's head.

It was only a chopstick, and Osamu dodged it easily, laughing. "Ya come into a man's restaurant, insult his skills in the bedroom, and then throw his own dinin' utensils at him. This is why yer single, Tsumu, ya know that, right?"

"Who cares? 'Snot like I need a dumb boyfriend to be happy!" Atsumu spat.

"You're just mad because I'm winnin'."

"You ain't winnin'! I'm havin' the time of my life!"

"Maybe, but I'm havin' an absolute _ball_ rilin' you up."

Unable to think of a decent comeback, Atsumu resorted to a trusty standard. "Fuck off."

"I pay the rent fer this place, _you_ fuck off."

"I will! But not because you said so, because I wanna get home an' watch the Falcons' game."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Thanks fer the grub."

"Sure. See ya."

* * *

In an effort to make sure Kita didn't die of loneliness--Osamu said that only rabbits and elephants die of loneliness, but still, better not to risk it--Atsumu started calling again. First it was every few weeks, just to check in, catch up, keep him company.

Talking to Kita was _nice_. A lot nicer than talking to his stupid brother, and nicer than talking to his teammates. Even the simplest conversation made him feel warm, proud that he could help keep his friend's spirits up. At least, he figured that was why he felt so fuzzy after their conversations.

It was so nice, that he started calling more often, every few days. Even if he had no real news to speak of, there was always something small going on that he could talk about. Something funny that had happened during practice, or news about about Suna or Aran. Sometimes, Atsumu even talked about the past; it felt good to look back on where they had been, compared to where they were now.

Atsumu started sitting out on his balcony while they talked, knowing that Kita was most likely tending to things outside, or sitting on his porch in the twilight. It made him feel closer, like they were connected by the sky.

He wondered if Kita still felt lucky to know him. If he got as much out of Atsumu's presence in his life as Atsumu had gotten from his. One of these days, he'd tell Kita how much he'd learned from him about risk and restraint, and leadership and respect. About how none of it was as easy as Kita made it look all those years ago. About how Atsumu still struggled, trying his best, to be that sort of person for his current team, so that he could make his old friend proud.

But the timing never seemed quite right, and the small talk was pleasant enough. Atsumu always told himself that next time, next time they talked, he'd tell him.

And then everything fell apart.

The conversation had started out like always; Atsumu asked about the farm, talked about his day at practice. Until Kita had cut him off, his voice full of concern.

"Atsumu, is everything okay? You've been calling quite a bit lately."

"Huh? Yeah, I'm great! I'm just worried about ya, Kita-san!"

There was a few seconds of silence, and then Kita sighed softly. "I never thought I'd say this to _you_ of all people, but I'm worried that yer too focused on the past."

_What_? "No, I'm--"

"When ya told me yesterday that you'd skipped a team social function to call me, I realized how often it happens."

"I just--"

"I know it's hard bein' on yer own, Atsumu. But you need to make new friends."

"Huh?"

"I like talkin' with ya, but not if it's gonna come at the cost of yer future. Ya shouldn't call any more for a while."

The bottle that Atsumu had so carefully put his feelings in and buried deep in his subconscious shattered. Broken glass longing punctured his lungs and left him speechless. "Oh."

It _hurt_.

And it _shouldn't_ have hurt, should it? He should be glad that Kita was doing well. Right? He should have laughed it off. What a misunderstanding. Hilarious.

But instead, he felt like he was going to cry. "Okay."

"Take care, Atsumu."

"Yeah. You too."

And then Kita hung up.

* * *

So Atsumu threw his all into the game, even more than usual. If he was practicing, then he had something to focus his mind on, something to keep that echoing "ya shouldn't call any more" safely shoved underneath a junk pile of other feelings.

The pain, the hurt that he still didn't really understand, would fade. And maybe he'd teach himself a few new tricks in the meantime.

Except practicing alone turned into slamming balls as hard as he could over the net as he became increasingly frustrated with himself. Days went by, and nothing changed. Why wouldn't the feelings just go _away_?

The whole thing wasn't even that big of a deal. So he'd been bothering Kita. So what? Atsumu knew that he bothered plenty of people every day. Kita was just one more person.

He smashed another ball so hard that it didn't even hit the floor, but ricocheted off the opposite wall instead.

This was _stupid_. It wasn't like him. There was no reason (WHAM!) to be this worked up (WHAM!) over nothing (WHAM!).

"Hey, Tsum-tsum?"

Ugh, that was the last thing he needed. An _audience_.

"Yeah, I'm great." Atsumu didn't even try to make it sound convincing, he didn't have the energy.

"Um." Bokuto approached him and fidgeted with his hands.

If Atsumu had been thinking clearly, he might have wondered why his teammate was acting so awkward; that wasn't like Bokuto at all. "Spit it out. Yer interruptin' me."

Bokuto swallowed and nodded, then put on his determined face. "Tsum-tsum. You need to stop. I don't know what happened, but you need to get some rest."

"I'm _fine_."

"You've got really dark circles under your eyes," Bokuto continued, undaunted. "Like how Keiji gets when he's got a deadline coming up."

The anger bubbled up inside him. Could this man talk about _anything_ without bringing up his darling _boyfriend_? Didn't he have the _decency_ to understand that _some_ people--

Bokuto suddenly brightened. "But don't worry! I'll clean up for you! So you can go right home and get to bed!"

All of Atsumu's anger melted away as quickly as it had risen. No, Bokuto _didn't_ think about things like that. He said whatever he was feeling, all the time. Which meant that he was genuinely worried. And _that_ meant that Atsumu wasn't hiding _anything_ half as well as he thought he was.

With his anger gone, all he felt was exhaustion. "Yeah, yer probably right," he sighed. "Thanks, Bo."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

Bokuto smiled warmly and clapped him on the back. "Okay. Get some sleep, Tsum-tsum."

"I will."

"Good! And if you need me, you know where to find me!"

Atsumu managed a smile; he sure did. Probably ruining another communal appliance, knowing Bokuto. "Yeah. See ya."

"Night-night, Tsum-tsum!"

* * *

How pathetic. This was the sort of situation that Atsumu had tried to leave back in high school. The surges of anger, the loss of control. He was an adult now, a _professional_. But nothing about the situation felt adult _or_ professional, and all he _really_ wanted to do was sit down in the shower, punch a wall, and throw himself a pity party.

Instead, he ended up at Onigiri Miya.

"Tsumu, I swear to _god_ , I was just gettin' ready to leave."

"Samu, I'm _sufferin_ '."

Osamu rolled his eyes, but opened the door and let him inside the restaurant. "I ain't makin' ya any food. Everythin's already put away."

"'S fine," Atsumu murmured, plopping down on a stool and slumping over the counter. "Can I have a napkin?"

"Ew, yer _cryin_ '?"

Atsumu sniffled loudly. "No."

Osamu shoved a napkin dispenser towards him. "What the heck happened?"

"Nothin'."

" _Atsumu_ ," Osamu said sternly, "Ya want me to be nice to ya, ya gotta tell me what's goin' on."

Atsumu scrunched up his nose and scowled. He wanted to be consoled, but talking about his feelings was _hard_. Especially when he barely understood them himself. "Kita-san hates me."

"What? How'd ya reckon that?"

"He said he didn't wanna talk to me anymore." Atsumu sniffled again, even louder, and scrubbed at his nose with a napkin.

"Huh? Why would he-- Wait. Did ya finally tell him ya got a crush on him? Is that what this is about?"

"I don't have a _crush_ on him!" Atsumu wailed, because he _didn't_. Kita was a _friend_ , someone he respected, someone he was worried about, someone he wanted to impress, someone with a soft and radiant smile, someone--

_Shit_.

"Oh my god," Osamu laughed. Don't tell me ya didn't even _know_. Every time I think ya can't get any dumber, Tsumu, ya go an' pull somethin' like _this_."

"Shut _up_!" He _didn't_ have a stupid crush, and even if he did, he wasn't stupid for not realizing it, he just had... other things to think about, like volleyball and finding a new hair dye because his old one wasn't being made any more, and...

"Rin's gonna lose his _shit_ ," Osamu continued, gleefully. " _And_ Aran. And--"

"Don't ya dare tell _anybody_! _Especially_ not Kita-san! He already hates me anyway!"

"Huh? He doesn't hate ya, ya fuckstick. What'd ya even _do_? I figured ya confessed and he turned ya down and you were broodin' about it, but if that's not what happened, what're ya all worked up about?"

Atsumu flopped over against the counter. "I was callin' him too much. He said he was worried, and that I should make new friends."

"Ah," Osamu nodded. "So ya got rejected before ya could even tell him."

"I _didn't_ get--" But his stomach still hurt and his head still ached, and every night he buried his head under his pillows and cried, filled with confustion and frustration and pain. It sure did _feel_ like rejection. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess maybe I did. It sucks. I probably shouldn't ever'a been born."

"Ain't gonna argue with that."

" _Samu_!"

"Look, stop bein' melodramatic for a second and listen to me. I'm sure Kita-san doesn't know yer feelin' like that. He ain't the sort of person to leave stuff unsaid, right? If he knew ya liked him, he'd have said _somethin_ '. Even if it was a proper rejection. So he probably _was_ worried about ya. God knows _why_ , but that's Kita-san, he's considerate like that. So if ya really do like him and wanna make somethin' of it, it ain't the end of the world."

Atsumu sniffled into his napkin.

"Good, yer not arguin' because ya know I'm right." Osamu paused for a moment, then added, "Anyway, I was plannin' on goin' to the farm sometime next month. Y'know, say hi, see how things're goin'. Grab some rice. Help out. Yer gonna come with me. And yer gonna clear this up."

"Don't wanna."

"What, ya wanna think Kita-san hates ya for the rest of yer life?"

"No."

"Then yer comin'. Even if all ya do is sit and play nice and be friendly."

Frustration bubbled over inside Atsumu, and he sat up suddenly. "Ain't ya even been listenin', Samu? I don't wanna be _friendly_. That's like... that's like if somebody told ya to sit and pretend you were just friends with Suna! Ya wouldn't do it!"

Osamu smirked. "First of all, yeah I would. Because I'm an _adult_ and I don't throw a temper tantrum every time I don't get my way. And second of all, I guess ya really don't have a crush on him, do ya? It's like me an' Rin, huh? Guess that means yer in _looooooveeeeeeeeee_ ," he drawled. "Ain't that cute, my horrible brother, all grown up."

"Fuck you!" Atsumu didn't like grappling with his feelings, and Osamu's taunting tone sure wasn't making it seem any more attractive. He drew his hand back to throw a punch, and Osamu darted away, laughing.

"Ya want me tell Kita-san that ya gave me a black eye? Do ya? Then come _get_ me, shithead."

"Shut _up_! I bet if Suna knew what a fucking sadistic piece of shit ya are, he'd dump ya in a second!"

"Tsumu, ya dumbass, that's what he _loves_ about me," Osamu shot back, sticking out his tongue.

"I shoulda strangled ya in the womb when I had a chance."

"Yeah, yeah. Big talk for somebody who didn't even understand he was in love fer... how many years has it been?"

Atsumu slumped back over the counter, defeated, his face red and covered in tears. "I dunno. I dunno how long it's been."

"What, ya can't count all of a sudden?"

"I dunno when it _started_ , Samu," he whined. "I dunno when it got this _bad_. What'm I supposed to do if he says no?"

Osamu sat back down beside him, all the teasing gone from his voice. "Tsumu. Since when do ya even _think_ about somethin' not workin'? Yer gonna come with me to the farm, yer gonna sit yer ass down and tell him how ya feel. And then yer gonna kiss and be sappy and gross and I'm gonna regret everythin' in my life that led me to havin' to be stuck there with the two of ya. An' if ya chicken out, I'm gonna tell him _for_ ya."

"Fuck you."

"God, why can't ya just say _thank_ _you_ like a normal person? Why'd I have to get stuck with the shittiest, stubbornest brother ever?" Osamu sighed. He reached out and ruffled Atsumu's hair. "Listen. I'm worried about ya, okay? I hate sayin' it, because ya should already know. Yer not in this alone, Tsumu. Ya know that. If he says no, we'll... we'll figure somethin' out."

Atsumu buried his face in the napkin again, unable to stop the tears. Everything was too much to handle; his realization, his feelings, his brother's sincerity. "Shuddup."

"Yer _welcome,"_ Osamu answered, rolling his eyes.

* * *

Atsumu wasn't a fan of long car trips in general; being stuck sitting still for any length of time wasn't exactly his favorite. And this one was even more excruciating than most. He was excited, nervous, and thoroughly terrified.

"Hey, Samu. Ya really think Kita-san'd go for somebody like me?" Kita deserved perfection, and Atsumu, though good at many things, was still acutely aware that he was not perfect.

Osamu shrugged, "Dunno. Yer pretty awful, but at least yer not like, a mass murderer or somethin'."

"That's not helpin'."

"What'm I supposed to say? Yer a great guy, everybody loves ya. Yer kind ta animals and little kids, ya help old ladies cross the street. Ya got a heart of gold, Tsumu."

Atsumu blinked. "Really?" He wasn't sure if all that was _literally_ true--he'd definitely never helped anybody cross the street--but maybe Osamu was right. Maybe somewhere deep down, he _was_ a good person. Maybe he wasn't as selfish as everyone said. Maybe--

"Fuck no. And if ya do, it's buried in a hundred-eighty-seven centimeters of pure _bullshit_."

" _Fuck_ you, Samu."

"Just provin' my point, Tsumu."

As always, it was absolutely pointless to ask Osamu _anything_. Atsumu would just have to figure it out himself.

He pulled out his phone. Bokuto had told him once that when he started to get worked up about something, he made a pros-and-cons list, and that helped him get some perspective. It sounded stupid at the time, but Atsumu couldn't deny that Bokuto was a lot more emotionally stable than he'd been back in school. Maybe there really was something to it. Better than sitting there staring out the window doing nothing, at least.

Silently praying that Osamu wouldn't ask what he was doing, Atsumu started typing.

_ My good points: _

_1) Volleyball. Real damn good at volleyball._

_2) I'm real damned handsome._

_3) Determined. Yeah, yeah, most people call it stubborn, whatever._

_4) Can do my own dishes, even if the dishwasher's broken. Thanks, Bo._

_5) Fantastic sense of humor, god damn it. So what if nobody ever laughs?_

That was a pretty good list. Everybody liked a good looking guy with a bright future and a sense of humor, right?

He continued.

_ My not so good points: _

_1) Everything else._

_2) Okay, no, gotta be fair here. Gonna start over._

_1) If we get married, would end up with Samu as a brother in law._

_2) I ain't got a lot of free time._

_3) I kinda enjoy being a shithead._

_4) Maybe too handsome? Might be kinda intimidating._

_5) Samu says I'm melodramatic. Actually a buncha people say that._

_6) Real good at putting my foot in my mouth._

_7) Probably gonna be remembered as a human disaster when I'm dead._

_8) Might (might!!!!!) not be considered the best setter in history after I'm dead._

_9) Not real good with emotional stuff._

Ugh.

Atsumu looked down at his list, nose wrinkled in irritation. Well that didn't make him feel better at _all_. Half of his good points weren't even applicable to the situation. Kita didn't play volleyball any more, and he probably wouldn't be impressed by Atsumu's dish washing skills. Which meant the only things he had going for him were his looks, and the two vaguely acceptable parts of his personality.

Which _might_ be enough if he was interested in anyone else, but Kita wasn't the type to be swayed by a pretty smile.

Oh!

He added that to the first list.

_6) Fantastic smile._

Atsumu knew for a fact that he had a damn good smile, because he'd spent hours in the mirror perfecting it. Sure, Osamu had caught him and teased him relentlessly, but by then it was too late. He'd put the work in and gotten results. _Suck it, Samu._

Still, the list didn't help much, because Atsumu had no idea what Kita might find attractive. He wasn't even completely sure if Kita was interested in men at all. That would be just his luck, wouldn't it? He'd go all the way to the farm, confess his feelings, and Kita would look him dead in the eye and tell him that he was straight.

The gods wouldn't do that to him, would they?

_Ugh._

Maybe he shouldn't have skipped last new year's shrine visit.

"Hey, Samu?"

"Yeah?"

"Kita-san ain't... y'know, _straight_ , right?"

Osamu shrugged. "Dunno. But at least if he turns ya down for bein' a guy, it's better than bein' turned down because yer a piece of shit, right?"

"Thanks, that's _real_ comfortin'."

"Well, what d'ya want me to do about it? Want me to pull out my phone, while I'm _drivin_ ', and send him a message? _Dear Kita. Do ya ever wanna make out with other guys, askin' for my idiot brother_."

"Yer the worst brother _ever_."

Osamu snorted. "Yeah, totally the worst. Drivin' ya all this way so you can confess yer love to the man of yer dreams."

"Oh my god, don't say it like _that_!"

"Why? Is it _embarassin_ ' ya? Good."

" _Shuddup_." It wasn't _like_ that. He just liked Kita a _little_ bit. A normal amount. A perfectly normal, small amount.

Atsumu glanced down at his phone and the words "if we get married" stared back at him.

He turned off his phone and pouted at the window.

But Osamu, complete bastard that he was, wouldn't let him sulk in peace. "Ya better not fuck this up."

"What difference does it make to _you_?"

"Because I'm the one who's gonna have ta deal with ya if ya end up heartbroken, ya idiot."

Atsumu was a little bit touched, but mostly annoyed. "Yer a selfish shithead."

"Runs in the family."

Atsumu sighed loudly, more for show than anything else, and slumped against the seat. "We there yet?"

"Yer makin' me wanna drive this car right off a cliff."

* * *

The Kita farmstead was halfway up the side of a mountain, but Osamu's car couldn't handle the gravel road, so they had to park in a small village nearby. It had been years since Atsumu had seen it last, but it hadn't changed much. A few buildings had a new coat of paint, some details here and there were different, but overall it gave him an overwhelming sense of nostalgia.

"Remember the time we came up here to help Kita's gran with the harvest?"

Osamu laughed, "Yeah. You were real scared of her."

"She kept on starin' at me!"

"She was probably just tryin' to figure out which one of us ya were, ya dolt. She's a sweet ol' lady."

"I dunno, Samu. She wasn't starin' at _you_ like that."

"Well," Osamu grinned, "Maybe she could tell ya had the hots for her grandson."

Atsumu's face went red. "That was a real long time ago."

Osamu cackled. "I notice ya didn't say no. Bet ya've been carryin' that torch for Kita-san since the day ya met him. Love at first sight. _Gross_."

Maybe he had. Atsumu wasn't sure any more. But it didn't matter how long he'd felt this way, how long he hadn't realized. What was important was that he was here _now_ , and he was going to do something about it.

"Yer walkin' _awful_ fast there, Tsumu. Ya excited?"

"I'm walkin' normal!"

"Uh huh. Ya look like yer gonna start runnin' any second now."

"I ain't gonna run all the way there and get all sweaty right before seein' Kita-san!"

Osamu shrugged. "Ain't like he hasn't seen ya all disgustin' before. Hell, _most_ of the times he's seen ya, yer all sweaty. He might not recognize ya if yer not."

"I thought ya wanted this to work out, Samu," Atsumu sighed.

A sweet, innocent smile bloomed on his brother's face. "I _do_ , Tsumu. C'mon, let's race." And with that, he slung his bag over his shoulder and started running.

"Goddamn it!" Atsumu hollered, breaking into a sprint of his own.

"You'll thank me later!" Osamu called back, in his most obnoxious sing-song voice.

"Like hell I will!"

They both ran as fast as they could--neither of them would _ever_ let the other win easily--until the trees thinned and gave way to a full view of the farmstead.

Osamu stopped, laughing. "I won, ya slowpoke. What's all that pro trainin' doin' that you can't outrun a measly restaurant owner, huh?"

"Shuddup, ya had a head start," Atsumu pouted.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, here we are. Whatcha think?"

The farmhouse was small, built in the traditional style. It was still in good repair; like the village below, it had been tended to carefully. The yard spread out before it, and past that, some storehouses and a greenhouse. Everything simple and in its place. The rice waved in the slight breeze, and past it was nothing but mountains and the huge, blue sky beyond. Everything about the scene was serene and beautiful.

It was _perfect_. Atsumu's voice caught in his throat. "It really feels like somewhere made just for him, don't it?"

"Yeah," Osamu nodded. "Sure does."

If the view had been overwhelming before, it only became more so when the farmhouse door opened and Kita stepped out, waving. Atsumu's heart skipped a beat; he was as handsome as ever, his hair a little bit longer, a little bit messier, but those same piercing eyes and that same rare smile clear even at this distance.

"Yer early!" he called, his voice raised to carry across the expanse of grass between them.

Osamu grinned and elbowed Atsumu as they approached. " _Somebody_ was real impatient to get here."

"We kinda raced up the mountain," Atsumu replied, at exactly the same time.

"Uh huh, because _you_ couldn't wait to see Kita-san."

Too flustered to think properly, Atsumu acted on instinct and stuck his tongue out.

Kita laughed. "Some things never change, do they?"

_Shit_.

Atsumu had come here with a _plan_. Sort of. A half-formed plan, once that involved being mature and likeable. He could show off all his new, grown-up skills, like doing his own dishes and controlling his temper. But now that was all _ruined_ , because instead of smiling warmly and telling Kita how lovely his home was, or whatever the hell grown-ass adults did, the _first_ thing he'd done was stick his tongue out at his goddamn brother. Like a little _kid_.

"Samu, I hate you."

"What the hell? I didn't do anythin'."

Kita watched them with open amusement. "It's so nice to have ya both here. I'm glad ya could finally make it, Atsumu."

The full force of Kita's smile turned on Atsumu alone for a moment, and he froze.

It was almost unfair how pretty Kita was, even in his coveralls, with his hair suffering from having been shoved in a sunhat. His usual stern expression was gone, softened for now, a faint smile on his face. His eyes were warm, and Atsumu wondered how he could have ever not realized what this feeling was. How could he have _ever_ looked at the man in front of him and not been painfully aware of how very, _very_ much he loved him? How he could have stood there, staring into his eyes, all day if he could. How badly he wanted to reach out and run his fingers through that messy hair.

God, he was an idiot.

He _needed_ this to work out, needed it more than he'd ever felt like he needed anything before. But a sudden wave of anxiety rolled through him; he might need Kita, but Kita hardly needed him.

This was Kita's home. He had the rice, he had a _purpose_. Why the hell would he need _Atsumu_? This place was already perfect, just as it was. Atsumu didn't belong there. He belonged on the court, in the locker room, in the disastrous Jackals dormitory. Loud places, full of sweat and confidence. This place had no room for those things, no matter how big it was. Atsumu's restless impatience was useless here, swallowed up by the wide open sky.

He had nothing to offer. Nothing that mattered.

Osamu elbowed him again, breaking him out of his spiraling thoughts. " _Tsumu_ ," he hissed. "What are ya _doin_ '?"

Atsumu yelped, startled. If his face wasn't red before, it sure was now. Caught off guard, his brain shot the first thing it found straight to his mouth. "Ya got a dishwasher, Kita-san? I can wash dishes without one if ya don't an' ya need help, because Bokuto broke the one in the team dorm by puttin' his shoes in it. So I got real good at doin' dishes by hand!"

He could practically hear Osamu's eyes rolling. "Ya didn't miss much, Kita-san. As ya can see, Tsumu's the same as ever."

"I see that." Kita's voice was quiet, and Atsumu didn't know if that meant he was amused or disappointed or some horrible combination of both.

"Ah, shit," Osamu said suddenly. "Ya know what? I just realized I left somethin' in the car. I should head back down and get it before it gets dark."

"Ya did?" Atsumu asked, confused. They hadn't brought much, and Osamu had his overnight bag with him. What could he have forgotten?

"Yeah, I _did_ ," his brother responded, pointedly.

If Kita found the exchange strange, he didn't say anything. "I'll get Atsumu settled in, then. Can I take yer bag?"

"Yeah, thanks." Osamu handed it over, and then turned back towards the road. "You two have fun catchin' up."

The second he was out of sight, Atsumu's phone buzzed.

_Assface >> tell him_

_< < WTF I JUST GOT HERE_

_Assface >> do it, coward_

Atsumu didn't realize he was grimacing until Kita asked him if something was wrong.

"Nah, it's just Samu. He's bein' a jerk." Had he gone back to the car to give Atsumu the chance to talk to Kita alone? That was nice... in _theory_. But there was no way he could launch into a confession first thing, he had to set the mood, try to figure out how Kita felt.

Oblivious to Atsumu's internal struggle, Kita smiled. "I'm glad you two still get along so well."

Was that a joke? Knowing Kita, it wasn't. Atsumu laughed anyway. "Yeah, same as ever."

The inside of the farmhouse was simple and immaculate, as Atsumu knew it would be. There were some houseplants, some volleyball magazines, and a team picture of Inarizaki hanging on the wall. Atsumu still thought it was funny; all of them gathered in front of the team banner, capturing a memory that it insisted wasn't important. A warm fuzzy feeling bubbled up in his stomach. Sometimes being sentimental wasn't all that bad.

"Ya still got that photo, huh?"

"Of course. Ya mean a lot to me, all of ya."

_All_ of them. The warmth in Atsumu's stomach turned sour.

"There's only one guest room," Kita continued. "I hope that's all right."

"Yeah, 's fine. Not like I'm not used to sharin' a room."

The guest room was as tidy and inviting as the rest of the house. There was a large bed against the wall and a futon on the floor beside it. Atsumu tossed his bag onto the bed.

"I'm claimin' this," he announced. "Yer my witness, Kita-san."

Kita nodded solemnly.

Atsumu joined his bag, bouncing a little as he sat down. He looked around the room, smiling, but still nervous. "This place is great. I barely remember it from before, but it feels perfect for ya."

Kita sat down beside him, smiling faintly. "I'm real fond of it. It holds a lot of memories for me, but I'm glad to know that ya like it, too."

Treacherous, his heart interpreted that with far more meaning than it had been meant. Atsumu blushed again, and smiled even bigger to try to hide it. "Yeah. Sorry I couldn't make it here sooner."

"I'm sure yer busy, with practice and sponsorships and everythin'."

Atsumu tried very hard not to be distracted by how close Kita was; close enough to tell that he smelled a little bit of soap, and a little bit of sweat. He must have been working up until they'd arrived. "Yeah," he answered, distracted anyway. His head danced with visions of being able to bury his face against Kita's neck, of losing himself in his scent.

"That reminds me," Kita continued, "I saw your commercial."

That immediately snapped Atsumu out of his daydream. "Oh god no. The one for the athlete's foot stuff?"

"Yes."

"I look like such an _idiot_ in that," he groaned. The sponsors had wanted him to dress up as a can of their product; at the time he'd still been a rookie, and couldn't afford to turn it down. Osamu had a recording of it saved on his phone, it was one of his favorite ways of humiliating Atsumu in front of new people.

Kita laughed, shaking his head. "You were fine. I don't think there's any way to sell somethin' like that and keep yer dignity at the same time."

Atsumu scowled. So much for trying to be impressive. Not only was Osamu out to get him, so was the anti-fungal spray industry. "Next time I'm gonna make sure I get sponsored by somethin' cool and sexy. Like somewhere that makes expensive watches or luxury cars."

"It's awful hard to imagine ya sellin' a luxury car," Kita answered.

"Whaddya mean?" Did Kita think he couldn't _do_ cool and sexy? Did he think Atsumu was _that_ ridiculous?

But Kita just smiled softly. "Didn't mean anythin' bad by it. Just that yer so familiar, it's hard to imagine ya with somethin' exotic like that."

"Admit it, Kita-san. Ya still think of me like a kid," Atsumu sighed. "Like we're still in school."

"Well, ya did stick yer tongue out at Osamu the second ya got here."

"That was his fault!" Atsumu flopped backwards onto the bed. There was no point in trying to act mature now. The truth was out. "Doesn't matter anyway. I ain't changed that much."

"I don't think that's true," Kita said softly, shifting his weight so he could still look Atsumu in the eye. "It might be hard for ya to see yerself, but I can tell ya did a lot of growin' up."

How was he supposed to feel about that? Atsumu didn't know any more, overwhelmed by the ache in his heart and the mess in his head. "Nah."

"Yer so stubborn." The words sounded fond to Atsumu's ears, but he didn't trust them any more. And he didn't trust his brain to correctly interpret the fact that Kita was now lying beside him, chin resting on one hand, watching him closely, either. He was probably just tired from farming. "Then how about ya tell me about yer team? Ya got some new players recently, right?"

That was a good, safe topic, and Atsumu grabbed onto it like a lifeline. He could talk about his team all day. "Yeah, we did. Do ya remember that real short kid from Karasuno? He's a freakin' monster now!"

"The one with that real fast quick, right?"

"Yeah!" Enthusiasm overtook his worry, and Atsumu rolled onto his side to face Kita, eyes lit with excitement. "Guess he went to Brazil or somethin'? Played beach volleyball? He's _crazy_. Him an' Bokuto are a pair, lemme tell ya. They drive me _nuts_. Oh! And we finally got Omi-omi full time, too!"

"He's done with school now?"

"Guess so. God, when they all get goin'," he laughed. "Bokuto'll say somethin' _totally_ out there, ya know how he is, and then Hinata's right in there too, takin' it totally outta context. They feed off each other like some kinda weird mutual energy leeches. They're damn good at suckin' up all the attention, too. Gets me riled up every single time. Too bad for them that when we're on the court, ain't nobody in charge but _me_."

Kita nodded as Atsumu continued, "And then there's Omi-omi, he's such a sour fuckin' _cactus_ that ya think he'd at least help calm everybody down, but no. He just stares at us like we're some kinda bugs. Speakin' of that, there was a cockroach in the locker room the other day and when he saw it, he _screamed_. So loud that Meian thought he was _dyin_ '. Honest, he took off sprintin' to the clinic. An' when the doc came in, Omi-kun was standin' on one of the benches, wavin' a shoe around like he was gonna _murder_ somebody. They're all such idiots, but... I'm real glad to have 'em. They're great guys, all of 'em."

Kita smiled at him, full of warmth. "I sure understand _that_ feelin'."

Atsumu laughed; he might not be the most self-aware person ever, but he wasn't _completely_ oblivious. "Yeah, we sure gave ya an awful lot of trouble. Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize. If ya could rein yerselves in, ya wouldn't have needed me as captain."

"Ya say that _now_ , but I bet back then ya wished we weren't such pains in the ass."

"Maybe from time to time."

Atsumu laughed, and once again had to resist the urge to reach out and comb his fingers through Kita's hair. This was nice, being close and talking about the future, about the past. But he kept his hand and his thoughts to himself; he wasn't ready to lose this, not yet. He wanted to soak it up for as long as he could before he potentially ruined it forever. "So, how's farm life treatin' ya?"

"There's a lot of work to do, but it keeps me busy. Gran wasn't able to maintain a lot of things, so I've been startin' out small. Got the greenhouse all fixed up last month."

"I know less than nothin' about farmin'," Atsumu answered, "But it seems like it suits ya."

"I enjoy it. It's a good life, although I do get lonely from time to time."

"I'm surprised yer gran didn't insist ya get married by now." It was out of his mouth before he'd even realized what he'd said, and his stomach twisted. What if Kita already had somebody? What if he was in an arrangement? What if--

"She tried," he answered, his voice suddenly far more quiet.

Atsumu didn't know what had caused the change in the mood, but his mouth just kept on going like it didn't care. "Well, I'm sure none of 'em were even half good enough for ya, Kita-san."

"They were all very nice girls," Kita answered carefully. "But I wasn't interested."

"Not into the whole wife-and-two-kids-and-a-dog thing?"

A slight frown crossed Kita's face and he shook his head. "Not... not exactly, no."

Hope sprung up in Atsumu's chest. "A cat, then."

"No, Atsumu."

"Two cats." He knew he was being a pain, but he wanted to hear Kita _say_ it, and he still couldn't bring himself to just ask. A direct question would give too much of himself away.

" _Atsumu_."

Well, that was close enough. He didn't want to make Kita angry. "Don't worry, I get it. Didja tell yer gran?"

"No. It's not that I'm not proud to be who I am, it's just--"

Atsumu interrupted him with a nod. "If the world were different, ya wouldn't have to worry about people knowin', but it ain't and ya do. I know how that goes."

Kita blinked. "Ya do?"

_Oh_.

Right. Just like he hadn't been sure if Kita liked men, Kita didn't know _his_ preferences, either. "Yeah. I mean, I like girls well enough, but I like guys, too. I don't talk about it much, but... that's me."

That simple admission, made in safety, shouldn't have increased his heart rate as much as it did. Atsumu fidgeted with his hands, not sure how to continue. It was out there now, the possibility. Sure, just because he was interested in men didn't necessarily mean he was interested in _Kita_ , but... he _was_. And it felt a lot harder to hide without the shield of presumed heterosexuality.

"I see. I'm sorry, Atsumu. I assumed--"

Atsumu shook his head. "Nah, don't worry about it. Ya have a girlfriend fer a week an' everybody ya know figures yer straight. Hell, even Samu thought so! _Samu_! My own _twin_! What a dipshit." He laughed and flopped back against the bed.

"Did he?"

"Yeah! He had that godawful crush on Suna, and he tried to hide it because he thought I'd think he was gross or somethin'. I mean he _is_ gross, but it ain't because he's _gay_."

Kita laughed, the quiet worry gone. "I had no idea."

"Yep. We're genuine grade-A disasters like that, the both of us."

"I think it's cute."

Atsumu's eyes widened for a second before he forced them back into a more casual expression. Kita didn't mean it like _that_. He was talking about both of them, about him _and_ Osamu. "Don't think anybody else who's seen me n' Samu together fer ten seconds would call us cute."

Kita shrugged, then got quiet again. "Atsumu, are ya seein' anybody? Yer not tryin' to hide somethin' because ya thought I wouldn't approve, are ya?"

His heart thumped hard in his chest and he shook his head. "I ain't."

"I'm surprised. Yer real well known, ya got lots'a fans."

Atsumu frowned slightly; his head was in a fog, Kita was still so close, and this conversation had taken too many unexpected turns for him to feel certain about anything. Rare, pure honesty took advantage of his condition and spilled out of him. "See, the thing with that is, they dunno jack shit about me. I mean, I'm glad for everybody supportin' me an' the team. I _am_. But those folks don't know nothin' about me. They just like how I look. They like the idea of me. Miya Atsumu, professional volleyball player. Tall an' athletic, and that _smirk_! It's flatterin' but it ain't anything to take serious. I already know none of 'em wanna deal with _me_. With my two-in-the-mornin' meltdowns, with all the time I spend on volleyball to be as good as I am. They don't wanna know that they gotta be able to tell me no as easy as they wanna tell me yes. The real Miya Atsumu ain't... ain't pretty. I'm rude, an' I got a temper, an' sometimes at night I think so much about bein' dead that I can't sleep for days." His voice cracked a little. "I'm _messy_. Samu says I'm gonna die alone."

He couldn't bring himself to look at Kita, not after that. Maybe not ever again.

But Kita's voice came gentle as ever. "What do _you_ think?"

"He's probably right."

"A relationship _is_ a lot of work."

"Right? Who needs that shit," Atsumu answered, the biggest liar in the whole world.

Silence filled the room. Atsumu stared up at the ceiling and filled it mentally with curses. Why had he _said_ that? Why had he said _any_ of it? Everything had been fine, and then he'd run his mouth about everything he hated most about himself. Kita was probably thinking about how pathetic he was. Regretting the fact that he was there, that he'd be stuck with this ridiculous, melodramatic asshole for two entire days before he could cut off contact.

"Atsumu?" Kita asked quietly, finally breaking the silence. "Would ya like to go outside? The sunset here is really somethin'."

He didn't give a shit about the sunset. All he wanted to do was crawl in a hole and _die_. "Sure."

They headed outside and sat on the edge of the porch. The view _was_ amazing, but Atsumu didn't much care. "It's nice," he said, voice flat.

"Atsumu, can I ask ya somethin'?"

Atsumu's stomach did a flip. He'd been found out, hadn't he? Kita had seen right through him, right through this pathetic attempt at normal conversation, right through his insecurity and straight to his pathetic, lovesick core.

Part of him wished that were true: that Kita could tell how he was feeling without needing to put it into words.

But he knew that he wasn't that lucky. Kita wasn't a mind reader.

"Sure."

"It's been botherin' me for a while now. Do ya remember the last time we talked?"

As if he could ever forget it; there were still shards in his heart. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry about that. I really was worried that ya were havin' trouble adjustin'."

"It's okay," he said automatically.

"But it's pretty obvious that yer fine there, so... I'm not sure why ya kept callin' so much. I ain't complainin', I'm just..." his voice trailed off.

Atsumu couldn't remember a time when he'd seen Kita at a loss for words. And as irritated as he was with himself for his outburst, he still recognized that he'd probably never get a better chance. They'd had a nice conversation, for the most part. They'd laughed and smiled and shared secrets. And the sunset was gorgeous, all orange and pink. It reminded Atsumu of the evenings not so long ago, when they'd sit together, hundreds of miles apart, and talk to each other under the same sky.

Everything was pretty much perfect, except him.

Oh well. He wasn't ever going to _be_ perfect. And no, he didn't want to ruin their friendship, but it was pretty obvious he couldn't keep going on like this, either. His heart hurt too much, and it was only a matter of time until it burst and the confession came out of him anyway.

"Hey, Kita-san?"

"Yes?"

"Ya know how you told us that there's no point in bein' nervous about somethin' ya practice all the time?"

Kita looked at him with a slight frown, clearly confused. "Yes, I remember."

"I've been practicin' this in my head for weeks now, but I'm still real nervous. But I don't wanna practice it any more. I just wanna say it. So it ain't gonna be real polished or anythin'. I hope that's okay."

Silent, with one of the most intense stares Atsumu had ever seen, Kita nodded.

"I called ya so much because I like talkin' to ya. I like talkin' to ya more than I like talkin' to anybody else. Yer _amazin_ '. I know ya say how lucky ya were to be on a team with all of us, and everythin', but ya really don't get it. _We_ were the lucky ones. I've met lots'a people like me. People that live n' breathe for whatever they're passionate about. People who run full speed, no matter what. That ain't amazin' to me at all. But _you_? Yer... yer careful and reliable and kind and... and there ain't a lot of people like you. Maybe not any. Yer a lot more special than ya think. That's how I see it, at least."

It wasn't the prettiest confession, but it came straight from his heart.

Atsumu couldn't bring himself to look at Kita. His pulse pounded in his ears, and he wasn't sure if he could stop himself from rolling off the porch, screaming.

"Atsumu?" Kita's voice cracked on just his name, and Atsumu did look at him then. There were tears in his eyes, but he was smiling, that huge, radiant, incredible smile that was so rare. All for him.

Relief and joy flooded through him. "Y-yeah?"

"I think we feel the same way. Yer amazin', too, Atsumu. Not just at volleyball. But the way ya keep chargin' ahead, an' yer resilence. Ya want everythin', and I hope ya get it."

"That ain't true," Atsumu answered, suddenly bold. "There's only one thing I want right now."

"I got a feelin' it's the same thing that I want," Kita smiled, his teary eyes filled with determination. "Atsumu, I'd really like to kiss ya right now. May I?"

There wasn't anything in the world that he wanted more than that, but Atsumu didn't trust his voice any more. He just leaned in, nodding, shutting his eyes. His heart was still racing, his mind was still foggy, but he didn't mind any more. It was the good kind of nervous, and he let himself sink into it. Kita _liked_ him, wanted to _kiss_ him, despite everything, or maybe because of it. Maybe both. The backs of his eyes stung too, but that was fine. Maybe they'd both cry into their first kiss, maybe they were both ridiculously sentimental deep down.

Kita's fingertips brushed against his cheek and maybes became certainties as their lips met. His kiss was careful, as tender and warm as Atsumu had always imagined it to be.

Atsumu curled his fingers against Kita's side, and was overcome by the need for _more_. More contact, more warmth, more _everything_. He pulled Kita closer against him, wrapped his arms around him, finally, _finally_ buried his fingers in that adorably messy hair. Kita let out the softest little sigh against his lips, and Atsumu deepened the kiss, lost in pure, overwhelming happiness.

"Oh, thank _god_."

They were both so startled that they almost fell off the porch.

" _Samu_! What the _fuck_!"

Osamu just grinned back. "Ya don't have't stop on my account. I was gettin' bored standin' around in the woods waitin'."

Kita, face crimson but still far more composed than Atsumu, turned to him. "Ya really didn't need to do that."

"Yeah, yeah. Didn't wanna give either of ya an excuse not to say somethin'."

"Either of us?" Kita asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion. " _Osamu_. Did ya already know how Atsumu felt?"

Osamu grinned, wide and smug. "Sure did."

"Wait, what?" Atsumu felt like he was ten steps behind the entire conversation.

"I've been talkin' with Osamu," Kita said slowly, "About how I'd like him to convince ya to come up to the farm so I could have a serious talk with ya about... well, about this."

"Ya ain't the only one who was worried, Tsumu," Osamu said. "Kita-san was worried he was bein' too selfish wantin' yer attention."

" _Osamu_."

"And Kita-san, ya shoulda heard Tsumu go on about how sure he was that ya hated him! If I'd left ya alone ya both woulda pine'd yerselves to death."

"I fuckin' hate you so much," Atsumu grumbled.

"Wow, ya kiss Kita-san with that mouth?" Osamu laughed. "You'll get over it. I'm takin' the bed in the guest room, by the way."

"I already--"

Kita leaned in and touched Atsumu's shoulder. "If ya want, ya can stay with me. We don't... it doesn't mean we have to rush anythin'. But... it'd be nice to have ya there."

Atsumu was pretty sure that his blush ran all the way down to the soles of his feet. "Oh. Okay. That'd be. Nice."

"Aww, ain't you two just the cutest thing?" Osamu drawled. "All right, lovebirds, I'm goin' inside. I gotta call Rin and tell him Operation Ricebag was a success." He waved at them and then disappeared inside.

"What just happened?"

Kita considered the situation for a moment. "I think Osamu did somethin' both incredibly kind and incredibly frustratin' at the same time."

"Sounds like him, yeah."

"So, um..."

"Yeah, uh..."

All their momentum had gone, and Atsumu silently cursed his brother again. He stared out over the fields; the sun had finished setting, and the stars had started to come out.

Kita shifted slightly, and leaned against his shoulder. "It's a little bit like when we were talkin' on the phone, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I was thinkin' that earlier, too."

"I am sorry about... all that," Kita said softly. "To be honest, I felt like I was taking advantage of your kindness. I was certain ya didn't think of me how I thought of you."

Atsumu wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "It's okay. I ain't any good at talkin' about my feelin's. Least we got it all cleared up."

"All's well that ends well?"

"Yeah."

"Ya know, yer a big part of what made me realize I wanted to live up here. I always meant to tell ya that. Lookin' after all of ya, and you in particular... I realized that what's I like doin'. I like takin' care of people. I wanna support the people I care about, help 'em get through a hard day, or an important event. Makes me feel like what I'm doin's worthwhile."

Atsumu smiled and leaned his cheek against the top of Kita's head. "Yeah? I been meanin' to tell ya how important you've been to me, too. I really did learn a lot from ya. I dunno when I started feelin' so strong about ya, but I know you've always been real special."

Kita's hand sought out his own, fingers curling around each other. "Yer okay with the distance? I'm not gonna quit farmin' just because we're datin'."

"Never thought ya would. I ain't stoppin' volleyball to come be a farmer, either. It'll be rough, but I think that's okay."

He felt Kita nod. "Okay. Just makin' sure."

"Hey, Ki-- uh. Shinsuke?" Kita's given name felt strange in his mouth, strange and exciting and full of promise.

"Yeah?"

"Yer sure yer okay with it bein' me?"

Kita made a soft noise that Atsumu couldn't quite understand, and then sat up straight, cupping his face in his hands. "Tsumu. I ain't never been more okay with anythin'."

"I'm... I'm a lot to deal with." He was happy, but part of him also had to be sure, completely certain, that Kita knew what he was getting into.

"I know. I love ya anyway."

The words shot through him, echoing in his mind, etching themselves in his heart. And all he could say was, " _Why_?"

With a gentle smile, Kita pressed their foreheads together. "Because when I told ya not to call me so much, I didn't realize how much I'd miss ya. Because when I watch yer games, my heart aches. Because ya laid on my guest bed and poured your heart out. Because I wanna be there for yer two-in-the-mornin' meltdowns, and I got no problem tellin' you no, and I already know how much of yerself ya put into volleyball. Because ya still bicker with yer brother just like ya always did, and because ya offered to wash the dishes. Because I'm going to remember how ya looked, sittin' on my porch in the sunset, for as long as I live. Because yer _you_."

"Oh," Atsumu answered, his eyes starting to sting again. "I love ya too, ya know."

"I figured maybe ya did," Kita smiled. "But it's real nice to hear. Yer sweet, Tsumu."

"That's me, sweet like sugar," he grinned back.

"Nah, I don't think so. Too much sugar'll make somebody sick. Yer not sweet like sugar at all. Yer sweet like... like a sunrise."

Atsumu stared out at the mountains. "A sunrise, huh?"

Kita nodded. "Blindin' and bright and beautiful."

Maybe he'd never stop blushing. When had Kita gotten so poetic? "What's that make you, then?"

"Hmm. If yer the sunrise, I suppose that makes me the rice. Waitin' for ya to shine, stretchin' up to meet ya."

Atsumu grinned; not the carefully calculated smile he'd perfected in the mirror, but an honest, wide smile, so big it made his face hurt. How had he gotten _so_ lucky? This amazing, gorgeous person, who he adored _so_ much, saying things like that about _him_? About _them_?

"I'll do my best to be worth waitin' for," he said quietly, voice thick with emotion.

"I know."

Their second kiss was far less cautious than the first; it gave way to a third, and a fourth, until they both lost track of everything except the feel of each other's warmth. And when the sunrise came, it found them curled up against each other, smiling softly.


End file.
